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black/white coffee
Posted: 17 September 2012 05:35 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 31 ]
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These ads seem to be added in present time and may be more related to the browsing history of the poster than anything special about the thread in which they appear.

On my mother’s eyes I swear I have not been searching for products to change the colour of my genitals.

Perhaps it just goes by location of the searcher.

Not only is wildly inappropriate for the content of the thread, but the linguistic circumlocutions the ads and websites for Lactacyd go through to intimate what the product does without actually saying it are pretty amazing.

BTW, I had to a backtrack when I got to the word “intimate” in your sentence because I already had the adjective in mind.

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Posted: 17 September 2012 08:01 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 32 ]
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Ad placement is a combination of browsing history, databases of past purchases, and page content. How much it relies on each depends on the particular algorithms used.

It appears that whatever algorithm that Yuku uses is not among the best.

(And the “intimate” was intentional.)

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Posted: 17 September 2012 08:16 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 33 ]
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but the linguistic circumlocutions the ads and websites for Lactacyd go through to intimate what the product does without actually saying it are pretty amazing.

The circumlocutions were too roundabout for me, I’m, afraid. Even after reading Dave’s and Faldage’s posts, I was still left with the impression that the stuff advertised was a bleach for pubic hair*.  But a search of the product’s website came up with a very clear statement—no beating about the bush (I couldn’t resist that one ;-). Obviously the product fills a real (and pathetic) need, however improbable it may seem to the present audience.

Sweat and excessive friction from tight clothing can darken the skin around the intimate area, causing self-consciousness, decreased confidence or inhibiting intimacy.
Made with natural whitening ingredients – plant based Actipone-B and marine-based Algowhite to gently lighten the skin around the intimate area.

It suddenly occurs to me (after re-reading OP Tipping’s post) that I may still be missing the point. Is this stuff actually intended to brighten up - say - the visible features of pop stars? Please, someone - illuminate my darkness.

* I was reminded of a story from my long-lost youth (won’t repeat it here, had my knuckles rapped before for gratuitous salacity) about the impecunious genuine blonde housewife and the inquisitive groceries delivery boy, the punch line of which is “I’ve just paid the coal man”.

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Posted: 17 September 2012 08:33 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 34 ]
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It’s for bleaching the genitals and anal region, which is considered desirable by some. Evidently this particular product combines the bleaching agent with douche.

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Posted: 17 September 2012 09:51 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 35 ]
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I was reminded of a story from my long-lost youth (won’t repeat it here, had my knuckles rapped before for gratuitous salacity) about the impecunious genuine blonde housewife

You’ve told it before without getting your knuckles rapped.

-the memorious, though hopefully not censorious, Dr. T

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Posted: 17 September 2012 12:28 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 36 ]
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You’re incredible, Doc. I have a feeling there’s a job waiting for you in the next world : Secretary to the Recording Angel at the Last Judgment.....

;-)

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Posted: 17 September 2012 02:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 37 ]
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He is the Recording Angel.

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Posted: 20 September 2012 07:10 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 38 ]
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I dug out the book (Untold Stories - Diaries section, 1994) and the fictitious entry is pretty much as I remembered it:

12 October 1993, Baltimore Edward Kemp, the National Theatre’s staff director, goes into a diner. ‘How do you like coffee?’ asked the waitress, who is black.
‘White, please,’ said Edward.
‘Excuse me?’
‘White...with milk.’ The explanation notwithstanding the waitress marches away into the kitchen, refusing to serve him.
Another waitress comes out, also black.
‘All I want,’ says the hapless Edward, who has not twigged, ‘is a white coffee.’
‘No,’ says the waitress. ‘You want a brain.’

It’s lies I tell you, all lies. B can’t have acted alone or K would have objected when the book was published so it seems likely they cooked up the conspiracy together unless K made it up and hoodwinked his friend. Or we could invoke Occam’s Razor…

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Posted: 20 September 2012 08:43 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 39 ]
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Sounds to me like she thought he was messing with her head, asking for “white coffee” which everyone knows does not exist.  Then she gets her co-worker to go to the counter and check out the crazy Frenchman askin’ for “white coffee”.

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Posted: 20 September 2012 12:30 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 40 ]
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‘All I want,’ says the hapless Edward, who has not twigged, ‘is a white coffee.’
‘No,’ says the waitress. ‘You want a brain.’

Hmm. I’ve usually encountered “want,” in the waitress’s sense of lack rather than desire, as more of a British usage than American.

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Posted: 20 September 2012 03:25 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 41 ]
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I agree that “want” as in “lack” is rare, although not unheard of, in the US (and, when an American does use “want” or “wanting” in that sense, it is often, but not universally, because the American is quoting or paraphrasing a line from a British writer).

On the other hand, it isn’t uncommon for Americans (and perhaps other people) to use statements like “you want...” in a normative rather than descriptive sense (I doubt most would describe what they are doing in that way, though).  So, “you want” can mean something like, “you should want”, “I think you should want”, or “you damn well should want” something.. (Sample exchange: Husband: I want to see a movie.  Wife: No, you want to fix the kitchen sink. [Husband thinks to self, “I don’t think that’s what I want...."]).  On a related note, I have often been told (and not just by my wife) that I wanted a number of things that I lacked but didn’t particularly want.

The waitress’s line could be construed as a “normative want” statement. 

Or the whole story could be bogus.  I’m quite skeptical that the story is true, but would not bet my life on it being false, either.  I think a person who asked for white coffee in the US would most likely get a blank stare, not an outraged harrumph.  But it’s a funny old world, and all kinds of bizarre and seemingly inexplicable things have actually happened.

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Posted: 20 September 2012 03:44 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 42 ]
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So, “you want” can mean something like, “you should want”, “I think you should want”, or “you damn well should want” something..

Or “you need...”.

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Posted: 21 September 2012 01:44 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 43 ]
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There are levels of truthfulness. It’s one thing for the story to be fundamentally true, that the events happened pretty much as described. It’s another thing entirely for the quotations to be accurate transcriptions of exactly what was said. The quotes are clearly mediated by the filter of a Brit (perhaps two, I’m a bit confused as to who is telling the tale and who it happened to), who not only put his dialectal stamp on the quotes, but who also probably altered them for comedic impact.

Even if the basic story is true, which is in doubt, we certainly cannot engage in this level of detailed linguistic analysis and come up with anything meaningful.

And note that the “want” is parallel: “want coffee with milk"/"want a brain.” It falls well within the realm of possibility that the waitress might make this response as a sassy comeback, even if the usage would not be a normal part of her dialect. (Although it is more likely the lines were changed for effect. The whole story is just too perfect and pat to have happened in exactly this way.)

[ Edited: 21 September 2012 01:49 AM by Dave Wilton ]
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Posted: 21 September 2012 04:40 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 44 ]
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This thread has jogged my memory of days of yore, ie when most of us drank tea in the UK, coffee drinkers were a rarer breed and we did order “white coffee”.  See this UK Nescafe coffee site:

White coffee is a term that refers to coffee in which milk or creamer is added, lightening the colour (as opposed to black coffee where no milk or creamer is added).

As I said earlier, I usually order an Americano, but occasionally a “flat white” from one of the coffee chains.

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Posted: 21 September 2012 06:52 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 45 ]
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I have heard that in Canada people order a “double double” coffee (two creams, two sugars).

Oddly, I have never heard this in the US.  Maybe it’s a Tim Horton’s marketing thing.

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