Ode To The Spelling Chequer
Posted: 16 August 2007 04:40 AM   [ Ignore ]
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An Ode to the Spelling Chequer

Prays the Lord for the spelling chequer
That came with our pea sea!
Mecca mistake and it puts you rite
Its so easy to ewes, you sea.

I never used to no, was it e before eye?
(Four sometimes its eye before e.)
But now I’ve discovered the quay to success
It’s as simple as won, too, free!

Sew watt if you lose a letter or two,
The whirled won’t come two an end!
Can’t you sea? It’s as plane as the knows on yore face
S. Chequer’s my very best friend

I’ve always had trubble with letters that double
“Is it one or to S’s?” I’d wine
But now, as I’ve tolled you this chequer is grate
And its hi thyme you got won, like mine.

—Janet E. Byford

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Posted: 16 August 2007 01:22 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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I heard a quite different version:

MY SPELLING CHEQUER

Eye halve a spelling chequer,
It came with my pea see;
It plainly marques for my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a quay and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong or write;
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee four two long,
And eye kin put the error rite;
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it,
I’m shore your pleased two no;
Its let a perfect awl the weigh -
My chequer tolled me sew.

- Sauce unknown

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Posted: 16 August 2007 10:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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I like to think I can spell as well as the next man (or woman), and would scorn to rely on any spellchecker for advice on the subject. Nonetheless, I feel very kindly disposed toward my spellchecker, and toward whoever brought the dear little imbecile into the world. it is always activated on my word processor, and saves me enormous amounts of time in unmasking typos, double spaces, and other like errors of mine, which have naught to do with spelling.

I love little Checker,
So eager to warn;
And if I don’t trust her
She’ll do me no harm.

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Posted: 31 August 2007 07:51 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Just occurred to me, but wouldn’t the poem be more appropriately titled something along the lines of
“Owed two thus belling chequer”?

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