The versatility of fuck
Posted: 04 October 2013 04:59 PM   [ Ignore ]
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A Scottish mate of mine uttered these words yesterday:

“I’m fucked if I can be fucked fucking about with this fucking fucker”

I don’t know if I have a point here or not, I just had to record it somewhere fast before I forget it.

We Scots are notorious swearers, mind, but this kind of took even my breath away.

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Posted: 04 October 2013 06:28 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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I regularly wear the shirt from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - “Fuck you, you fucking fuck.”

Honestly, in the group of crusty derelicts I run with, it’s part of normal conversation and not really considered swearing. Actual swearing requires more effort… and compound words.

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Posted: 04 October 2013 10:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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As the man said in Burnistoun, “I’m sorry, I’m from Scotland. It’s like a fucking comma.”

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Posted: 05 October 2013 12:16 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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BlackGrey, the Scots must be losing their edge if you don’t hear “fuck” in every sentence (at least once, occasionally so often as to become meaningless) as we do in parts of north east England.  Or maybe I should stay in more.

I thought I led a sheltered life ...

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Posted: 05 October 2013 01:50 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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As PO1 Frazier said one fine day, “I knew this fucking guy and every other fucking word out of his mouth was ‘fuck’.”

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Posted: 05 October 2013 12:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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To fuck ‘er, to fuck ‘er, to fuck ‘er --weren’t these sounds constantly ringing in Walter Mitty’s ears? In my student days, they were often ringing in mine. A fat lot of good they did me.......(eyes misting over, reaches for bottle of Nepenthe)

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Posted: 05 October 2013 01:46 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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To fuck ‘er, to fuck ‘er, to fuck ‘er --weren’t these sounds constantly ringing in Walter Mitty’s ears?

Not as related by James Thurber.

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Posted: 05 October 2013 04:37 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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OP Tipping -

As the man said in Burnistoun, “I’m sorry, I’m from Scotland. It’s like a fucking comma.”

Sorry, this exile has only seen one episode and that was a while ago. What am I missing with the ‘comma’?

ElizaD -

BlackGrey, the Scots must be losing their edge if you don’t hear “fuck” in every sentence (at least once, occasionally so often as to become meaningless) as we do in parts of north east England.  Or maybe I should stay in more.

I thought I led a sheltered life ...

Oh, there’s no shortage of swearing when I’m back home on a visit, or when mates are visiting here in Holland. Or, as you say, in Yorkshire (have visited and used the buses there, and gone out of an evening, in the last few years). But after decades of subconsciously and subtly trying to make my own accent easier to understand to other expats from all over the world, a certain ‘cleaning up’ has taken place in how I talk in English, even, sadly, when I return to Scotland. Would take a few months to get me back up to fuckin speed, I reckon!

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Posted: 05 October 2013 04:56 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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BlackGrey, “It’s like a fucking comma. What am I missing with the ‘comma’?” Guess it means it’s used like a comma, ie regular punctuation.

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Posted: 05 October 2013 05:27 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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But after decades of subconsciously and subtly trying to make my own accent easier to understand to other expats from all over the world, a certain ‘cleaning up’ has taken place in how I talk in English, even, sadly, when I return to Scotland. Would take a few months to get me back up to fuckin speed, I reckon!

Well, you don’t want to lose too much of your accent. It’s part of your cultural heritage, not to mention the font of clever and funny jokes. For example: Two Scotsmen standing on a street corner, when one turns to the other and asks, “Jimmy, do you know the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?”. Jimmy responds in the negative. Well, continues his friend, “Bing sings and Walt disney.”

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Posted: 06 October 2013 01:30 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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To fuck ‘er, to fuck ‘er, to fuck ‘er --weren’t these sounds constantly ringing in Walter Mitty’s ears?

No - the machine in the operating theatre goes ”ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa”, until it malfunctions and starts going ”ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-queep”. Mitty the brilliant surgeon fixes it with a fountain pen, IIRC.

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Posted: 06 October 2013 11:16 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Thank you, Dr. Techie, thank you, Syntinen Laulu

(leaves feeble attempt at light-hearted wordplay flat and lifeless on the floor.  Stumbles toward Cabinet of Forgetfulness)

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Posted: 07 October 2013 05:53 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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I got your joke, lionello!

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Posted: 07 October 2013 08:30 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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O language hat, live for ever!

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Posted: 07 October 2013 10:37 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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Sorry I stepped on your queep.

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Posted: 08 October 2013 06:16 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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Arga - 05 October 2013 05:27 PM

Well, you don’t want to lose too much of your accent. It’s part of your cultural heritage, not to mention the font of clever and funny jokes. For example: Two Scotsmen standing on a street corner, when one turns to the other and asks, “Jimmy, do you know the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?”. Jimmy responds in the negative. Well, continues his friend, “Bing sings and Walt disney.”

Arga, thanks for the explanation re ‘comma’, I was desperately trying to imagine the shape of Scotland the physical country, trying to talk myself into believing it was like a comma even though it ain’t!

I haven’t lost my accent entirely, don’t worry. Other expats recognise it as Scottish immediately (usually accompanied by a blank look) but when I go home to Scotland they think I have ‘poshed up’. You just can’t win.

PS famous books jokes:

‘Broken Pencil’ by Winnie Wright :-)

[edit re broken quote]

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